He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
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