I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Randomize