does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
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