You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
