i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
We talked him into tasing himself.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize