Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
