Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
