If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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