I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
