Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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