Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
