It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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