mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize