he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
