Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
