i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Randomize
