we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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