glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Randomize
