her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
