yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
