I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
