I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
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