38 yer olds are good kisserssss
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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