Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
