I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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