I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
