glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
