I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
