There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
