I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
