What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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