is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
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