i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Just invented taco cereal.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
