She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
