I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
