The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
