i just sent this text using only my big toe
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
