Is it normal to miss your booty call?
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
