would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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