This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Are we still banned from the library?
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
