You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Randomize
