She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Who died my cat blue again?
Just puked most of my soul out..
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
