I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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