she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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