just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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