you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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