Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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