Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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