the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
