Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
