Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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