Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
