I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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