it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
