the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Where is the hickey?
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Randomize
