Sponge bath it is.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I need to stop coming to work sober
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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