Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Sacagawea was the original milf.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Randomize
