the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
