Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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